request denied

Each Super Bowl season Portland hosts a fabulous event called the Seafood and Wine Festival at the Convention Center. I was lucky enough to work the event last year in the Martini Bar. It's the only bar in the entire convention that serves hard liquor - everywhere else is strictly beer and wine. The event was wildly popular and I earned an insane amount of tips in two days. I was so thankful that I was asked to work the Martini Bar again this year.

My dilemma is my manager said she prefers I don't take a half day here at the office to work this promotion. My frustration from this response stems from two thoughts; one, this office is very relaxed and whatever days we request off or request half days have never been denied in the 6.5 years I've been here. Second, as my boss is informing me she prefers me not to leave early because I already leave early twice a week for school and this puts the rest of the office staff in a bind, she's emailing me from home!

The hypocrisy of lecturing me about the burden I place on my co-workers for leaving early doesn't dawn on her while typing this email from home? You're the manager and you decided to work from home because it's more comfortable?!?! I really don't know what I'm going to do. I really need this extra cash.

This is the money I use for school expenses and to know I could make enough money to cover text books, parking permit and possibly additional uniforms all in two days is something I can't pass on.

I feel like I'm being punished for returning to school. This is something I had not anticipated, but I feel the rumble in the office. There is very little camaraderie and it's unfortunate. There is a lot of double talk and very little support amongst this all female office staff. Working in a male dominated profession you'd think the desire to watch each others' backs would be unspoken. Well, it's not only unspoken it's unpracticed. I feel the wave of annoyance blowing in my direction. This most recent request for time off denied further supports my feeling of being singled out.

I have no one I can confide or trust here. My confidence in building friendships with people I've worked with for nearly seven years is shaky at best. Sincerity is something rare here and it's a big part of why I've decided to return to school. I cannot be a lifer here. I cannot continue to surround myself with people who would rather throw me under the bus then to entertain the idea of supporting me, professionally.

I was hired in June 2003 - I've really only made one friend from work and she has since left the company. What does that say? Is it me? Is it this place?

Who knows if when I asked my co-workers if they mind if I took a half day for this event if they really meant they didn't care. They could sing a different tune when speaking to my manager.

Perhaps next week people will be in better spirits and I'll be granted my half day.

To be continued...