Monday, August 29, 2011

Another Sunday night at Mt Tabor Theater

Me with the wife... singing and dancing.

One Act

I'm going to write it, working title "Why I Don't Have a Boyfriend" and it'll be about all my hilarious adventures in the dating world. The absolute cockamamie, absurd lines to the deprecating and slight heartache I've been through for about 2 years.

Minimal set, cast of three - me narrating while female plays me and male plays various dudes.

I'll keep you posted, if I ever get it to stage.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Looking for work in Oregon

Oy vey.
I've applied for over seventy jobs in the Portland area since May. Seventy!
I've had three interviews.

I'm a positive person but I'm starting to get worried. I'm a good worker - I care, I'm dependable, willing and want to learn, get along with everyone, a team player, a leader, delivers under pressure and stays clear minded during chaos - I'm the whole flippin' package but because my degree isn't finished or I'm over qualified, I'm still looking.

I'm going for a bike ride, gonna grab a ridiculously oversized cup of coffee and focus on the good things in my life.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Anti-this feeling, please

I hate being responsible for someone's unhappiness. When I do, Neil Sedaka runs through my mind and I find myself just saying "I'm sorry."

I've been spending weeks getting to know Milk Toast; cliff notes - he's ideal. Wits, intelligence, looks, job, dog, my friends love him, his friends are awesome but after weeks of all this general warm-feelings, fun and laughs; I feel it's reached its peak. My honesty in explaining this has burned him and me.

Text messages that make me feel like shit? Check.
Unfriending/Unfollowing me now? Check.

What am I to do? I question what's wrong with me - is the previous man (or men) playing a role in me being sorta fucked up and not being able to find a connection with Milk Toast? Is some imaginary, Hollywood x-factor that romantic comedies, Rene Zellweger, Julia Roberts and too many Alesia Holliday and Elisabeth Kyle books perma-fucked with me being able to recognize, appreciate and keep a good man? I don't know.

I resist the urge to text him or call him. I need a few days, some respectful breathing space otherwise I'll find myself apologizing uncontrollably, and for what, exactly? I'm past the point of believing I have a prince charming or a soul mate out there in the world. I want someone I can connect with - and I can't really detail that any further! There's no check list or requirements other than that; I need to feel that connection.

I'm very anti-feeling the way I'm feeling tonight. I'm questioning who I am because I made a decision for me, based solely on selfish reasons - my satisfaction - and I'm feeling guilty. I was feeling equally as awful knowing this relationship was going nowhere and it came to a point where I had to tell him. I had too!

I do like and care for Milk Toast. Never, ever do I want to hurt someone, especially someone I've grown so fond of. But rejection hurts. I'm well aware of the consequence of being on the receiving side of the "no thank you". That's why I'm truly sorry it didn't work out in both our favors.

Friday, August 19, 2011

What kind of fuckery is this?

She just sings everything I think, lately...

Nobody stands in between me and my man, it's me
And Mr Jones (Me and Mr Jones)

What kind of fuckery is this?
You made me miss the Slick Rick gig (oh Slick Rick)
You thought I didn't love you when I did (when I did)
Can't believe you played me out like that (Ahhh)

No you ain't worth guest list
Plus one of all them girls you kiss (all them girls)
You can't keep lying to yourself like this (to yourself)
Can't believe you played yourself (out) like this

Rulers one thing but come Brixton
Nobody stands in between me and my man
'Cause it's me and Mr Jones (Me and Mr Jones)

What kind of fuckery are we?
Nowadays you don't mean dick to me (dick to me)
I might let you make it up to me (make it up)
Who's playing Saturday?

What kind of fuckery are you?
Side from Ray-Ray you're my best black Jew
But I could swear that we were through (we were through)
I still want to wonder 'bout the things you do

Mr Destiny 9 and 14
Nobody stands in between me and my man
'Cause it's Me and Mr JOnes (Me and Mr Jones)

Friday, August 12, 2011

It's the Final Count Down!!

Hey-o!! It was my last day of CLINICALS!! It rocked my socks off. Here's some pics and footage of this fun day.

(Adrienne, Kim & me)

(Adrienne & Kim)

(Nicole & me)

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

New to me

Got myself a classical guitar today. Thank you Craig's List :) It's nice rekindling a flame without ripping up my finger tips. Not sure what year, but it's a Conn Classical.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

My Rena-bot

Happy birthday baby-girl.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Sober no more

Hallelujah!!! Breaking Julysober at Hobo's was fantastic. My first drink; a Moroccan Coffee after a long day doing clinicals... Mmmm.