Sunday, November 29, 2009

In the wee hours of the morning

Can't sleep. My mind will not stop rolling over all the things I have to study before my finals start in roughly 37 hours. I'm usually a sound sleeper, but tonight, I stared at my phone, 3:03am. I rolled around, drank some water but decided to type some of this anxiety and BAM!! Here I am at 4:22am.

I had a study group meet-up w/some EMT classmates. It went well. We spent a lot of time bullshitting, but did go over some skills. I'm still so very nervous. I've invested so much time, money and energy into the last six months, I will be devastated if I fail and it was all a waste. It will be such a disappointment to restart the program again.

Monday we're being tested on O2 administrating (non-rebreather and nasal cannula), BVM, OPA/NPA w/suction, Combitube and possibly CPR (adult and infant) and choking adult (heimlich). I know this stuff but I'm surprised how freaked out I am. I'm not worried about the CPR/AED we'll be tested on Wednesday. I'm really concerned about the medical and trauma assessments we're performing and of course, the 150 question final. But I have another wkend before that and another study group.

I am up at 4:30am unable to sleep because I'm filled w/worry. I want this term to be over. I want to move forward w/my new schedule and start managing my stress better. I'm going to spend the bulk of today doing review over my skills and also I want to complete my study guide for my Biology and my take home quiz that's due Tuesday.

I need to write out a plan for today so I won't be overwhelmed or lose track of what I need to accomplish w/my homework TODAY. That's my problem. I sit down to study, I get overwhelmed by the different classes work load and do a lot of stuff but don't complete any assignments.


Ahhh... I want to ace my EMT stuff. I really do. I did so shitty on my mid-term (78%!!!), I want to ace the info this time around! It's so important to me not to fail at school. This is my ticket out of Tonkin. It's my ticket into a career, me finding happiness and being apart of something that is good vs. working for a corporation that uses their employees and allows management to run the show by any means as long as they make that money!

I'm going to do some crosswords... hopefully that will make me tired. I have a full day of studying ahead of me.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Black Friday 2009

Thanksgiving was typical with a splash of something new. Andrew and I met his family; mother, step-father, brother and grandmother, at Gustov's last night. We ate and left in under an hour. I was happy for the invite and thankful Andrew's step-father paid. I'd give more details but it was quite uneventful. They are not a talkative bunch. Although, I was surprised by how irritated the grandmother got when a child, maybe a year and half old, was crying in the restaurant. She was so annoyed, she left!

The crying child was three or four tables away in a booth. He was fussy but I guess it didn't bother me. I felt bad for his parents but they let him cry for a few minutes and then one of them took him outside until he calmed down. Perhaps Andrew's grandmother is not used to going to a family restaurant on a holiday... I absolutely expected the restaurant to be crowded and noisy. I was surprised by her absolute intolerance of the fussy child and how everyone at the table told her she could leave. I guess it made her extremely uncomfortable...? To me, it was background noise.

The splash of new is I went to my mother's house after dinner at Gustov's. Andrew met my mother and her boyfriend, Jerry. This is a first. A boyfriend met my mother. Amjad has met my mother but it was always extremely brief and the situation would be saturated with drama. I believe he met her at our Senior Prom. My mother came over to what used to be her house w/the family, and took pictures of us. And the second time they communicated was a couple months later when Amjad and I graduated high school. My Dad took the entire family out to dinner.

We arrived at the house and chatted up Jerry, who was cleaning up the kitchen. To my surprise my only uncle on my mother's side, Gene, was spending time w/his grandmother, my great grandmother, Helen, at the house. Andrew and I joined them downstairs and made small talk. I haven't seen my Great Grandmother Helen since 1987 and I haven't seen my Uncle Gene in nearly 6 years.

We made our way upstairs and met up with my sisters, Emily and Katie, and while we stood in their door way and talked my mother came out of her bedroom. My boyfriend officially met my mother. Nothing awkward. She said hello, she was waking up from a nap. Andrew and I stayed maybe another 15 minutes, said hi and bye to everyone.

The hardest part was coming home and Andrew having no idea what a gigantic step that was. I felt a little sad. There were five years of my life where my mother and I could not speak to each other. Our emotions did not allow us to talk - we could only scream or not stand to be in the same room w/the other. All I ever felt was anger. I used to pray to Jehovah to forgive me for hating my mother. I hated the things she did and said - I was consumed by my anger. I did not have the maturity to take in the big picture, all I saw was her leaving and hearing her lies. And since all we could do was scream, I was not allowed in her home, on her property - I was not allowed to visit my siblings. I would call and leave messages with no returns. I would call and someone would answer and immediately the phone would slam down in my ear. I was hospitalized and she did not come, she did not call. I was not acknowledged as one of her children.

It took me five years to mature, experience life w/o a mother's guidance, get therapy and just let go of that anger that I used to shield myself from the pain I was really feeling over my parents divorce and at the loss of losing my sister; who left w/my mother when she moved out of the house. Five years is a fifth of my life!

Andrew didn't get it or was not interested. His shoulder was hurting him. I just felt like crying. What do you do when a huge moment happens and no one around you cares? I just wanted someone to say, "this is so awesome that you and your mother can finally do this." B/c so much heartache is just below the surface. So many questions, so much time lost, so many things we both missed out on.

But to look to the future, hopefully this continues. Hopefully I can continue to process things w/o anger and letting go of the past. And in turn, she continues to let me come over and we can chat, perhaps about something other then the dogs. Maybe school, maybe life, maybe what the hell have you been doing since 2003?

It is Black Friday. I feel a little isolated yet I'm at work. I don't have class tonight, so that's awesome. I will remember this Thanksgiving for years to come.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thanksgiving Eve

First I need to update you on the weekend's festivities. Andrew's birthday went smoothly w/o any kinks that I can recall. Lots of friends, lots of drinking but no breaking of items, no peeing on anything (just in toilets), the house guests decided to par-tay hard at The Jupiter Hotel instead of our place so it ended up being all good in the end. Besides Andrew's shoulder still causing him a lot of discomfort, the weekend went well.

Tomorrow is that wonderful day of gorging, Thanksgiving. I'm not big on Thanksgiving. I'm not against it; I think the origins have been lost over the years.

(History lesson time!)
The Pilgrims left England in September 1620 on a 65 day trip to The New World. This trip was funded by a group of English investors who made a contract w/the Pilgrims; hey if we pay for your trip, once you reach the new world you can practice any religion you want, you just have to perform back-breaking work for us for the next, oh seven years.

After the two month plus trip, enduring shortage of food and sickness, they arrive in Plymouth, MA. They learned not to fear the natives, they were a peaceful bunch. But the first winter was devastating. The 110 that survived the voyage to America, 60 died from cold and sickness. With the first spring, things started getting better. The settlement was completely constructed, the sickies from the winter were getting better and the Native American that had nearly everything to do w/the Pilgrims survival entered their lives. Samoset taught the Pilgrims how to farm; how to harvest corn, what plants were poisonous, which plants had medicinal purposes, to tap the Maple trees and so much more.

That October the Pilgrims had a very successful crop. They had strong homes, plenty of food - things were good. Pilgrim Governor, William Bradford declared a day of Thanks and invited the Native Americans that helped them beat all odds. For three days these neighbors celebrated their good fortune w/food, games and bonding.

What an excellent story. I'll celebrate that each year. But that is only part of how Thanksgiving became an American holiday.

Keep in mind the Pilgrims did not have success every year. The very next fall/winter things weren't so great for our lovable Pilgrims. The Pilgrims were still learning how to store their crops and did not do so properly and had a food shortage. Come spring/summer and it was very hot and the dry spell damaged most of their fields. The Pilgrim Governor ordered a day of fasting and prayer. The story goes that soon after that day the rains returned and they had an awesome harvest and then Governor Bradford declared that an annual day of thanks, Thanksgiving, was to be a custom.

An annual day of thanks after the harvest was practiced through the years. It was during the American Revolution (late 1770s), Continental Congress suggested a National Day of thanks. In 1817 New York adopted Thanksgiving Day as an annual holiday but no official date was set for the nation. In 1863 President Lincoln set Thanksgiving holiday as the 4th Thursday in November.

So there's a very brief history lesson. And with that I will be spending Thanksgiving dinner around a table at Gustov's, a German restaurant w/Andrew's mother, step father, brother and Grand mother.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Celebrate good times w/the ones you love.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

It's (almost) par-tay time

It's the morning of Andrew's 30th birthday bash. Pattison is sleeping on our couch in the basement. Andrew is half asleep, cuddling w/Rena in our bed and I've showered, had breakfast and am here. Andrew's bum shoulder flared up and we have canceled the bowling part of his bash. I'm a little bummed, I really like "Rockin' Bowl." You get the lights turned off, black lights turned on and rock'n roll hits while striking. Instead we're ordering Ortiz vs. Griffin (UFC and GO GRIFFIN!!!), getting some pizzas and playing poker at our place. Low maintenance and what Andrew wants. I'm totally game.

I'll keep updates coming :)

Friday, November 20, 2009

Obama Chia. Day 5

His fro is starting to fill out more on the top. This is the first time I've ever grown anything. I'm not sure what to expect - I sorta thought he'd smell like a plant but right now, nothing.

Resevoir Turtles


Thursday, November 19, 2009

eating sushi in the office

I should be working on my lab report, but I'd much rather pass the time by eating sushi and writing a blog, catching up on blogs and commenting on my followers' blogs.

Class tonight (Biology 112) was interesting. It's interesting most nights, but I really enjoyed tonight's lecture. I was able to get involved in discussions. Not that I'm a super genius, but I understood the basics of protein and DNA synthesis and could follow along w/the big brains in the class. It made the two hours fly by.

My first (and hopefully last) lab report is due tomorrow (Biology). It's boring to read, boring to write and worth a big chunk of my grade. I'm not sweating it b/c even if I do so-so on it, my grade in lab right now is kickass and I sincerely did the best I could w/the amount of knowledge and interest I had on the topic. It's about potatoes turning brown once you cut into them. Not exciting stuff.

Tomorrow night Andrew's friend Scott Pattison, (let's just call him Pattison), arrives for his extended weekend stay (he leaves Monday). Pattison is a pretty awesome guy. We get along very well which is great b/c Andrew and Pattison are as close to BFFs as heterosexual men can get. One problem w/Pattison, when he drinks, he destroys things. He destroys things by breaking them or peeing on them. This weekend is Andrew's 30th birthday. There will be a lot of drinking going on. I'm trying to keep this little known fact of Pattison breaking and peeing on things when drunk out of my mind. But now that I'm within 24 hours until his train arrives in Portland, I'm looking around my apartment and realizing how many of my things I like not broken and not peed on.

I'm hopeful that all my belongings will remain in their current state after Pattison's visit. I guess I'll update you as the weekend progresses.

I should get back to my lab report...
The one that needs only a few tweaks and then that's all I'm able to do otherwise I'm afraid my mind will commit suicide from being so bored.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Obama Chia. Day 3

It's starting to sprout. The sprouts look like sperm.
I went with the tip of placing a loose plastic bag over my Obama Chia and I think that has helped.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married...

Over the past week I've realized how many of my friends from high school are married, getting married or just got married. It's overwhelming. Emily and Alex got married this month (a little bummed I didn't get an invitation). I just read Jenn and Ryan got married, again really bummed I didn't get an invitation but the wedding was in Sunriver and I wouldn't have been able to make it. Nick is marrying his girlfriend in January. I think Shanna got married; she has pics of her wearing what appears to be a wedding dress on her Facebook. Jason and Michelle married w/a baby. Joel and Kelsey married w/a baby. Siobhan and Ryan married w/two babies. Audrey and Graham engaged.

It makes me a little sad. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy w/my current relationship. I have no desire to be married at this point in my life. I have so much going on right now; I don't think I could be the wife I want to be. I want to work a little more on who I am, before I go and vow my life to a man. I'm turning 26 in a little more than 3 weeks and it's hitting me how quickly time passes. Five years ago I would have thought I would have been married, possibly w/a child to my then boyfriend by now. So much has been squeezed into these past five years, it's amazing how quickly it has flown by.

It makes me hope I'm not forgetting to value each day as unique and fleeting. I'm so happy I'm finally in school. I'm so happy that I'm living in a place I really like and sharing it w/someone who makes me laugh all the time. Things can always be better and things could always be worse. Marriage is just something I've always wanted and assumed it would happen in my early 20s. Now that I'm in my mid-20s there's no way I would have been successful, I think, if I would have married years ago.

I look at the pictures posted from my high school friends and I remember most of them how they were. It's been so long since we've hung out all I have to associate them by is how we were 8-10 years ago. I see their grown up faces in their wedding photos but attach their youthful character and can't believe they're married! I'm so happy for each of them finding someone they want to spend the rest of their life with. I do wish everyone success and happiness in their marriage.

My bit of sadness comes from remembering the past. The fun we had as teenagers and how much has changed in such a short time. People I used to see every day and couldn't imagine not speaking to are now just a category in my Facebook account. I read their updates and comment occasionally, but it's so strange. I don't know these people anymore. So much of my teen years were spent talking - talking in depth w/these people about everything. Nothing was off limits and we shared a connection that cannot be duplicated.

These changes have been great for most. We've matured, experienced life, gotten an education, prioritized to have more sentiment instead of things and taken that step into adulthood and relieved our parents of the responsibility of our actions.

I think of my parents and what they were doing at my age. At 25, nearly 26 my mother had three children and pregnant with me. At 25, nearly 26 my father had four children. They were married and scraping by. I'm sure they were stressed but happy. People make due w/what they have. At 25 nearly 26, I have three dogs. I share that responsibility w/my boyfriend. He turns 30 this Saturday. He hasn't done any freaking out, but I'm sure some reflection is taking place. It's only natural.

I try to make a general plan of what I want out of my life to keep me working towards something that will be better then now. I want to finish school, hopefully in the two years designed by the program. I want to get a job in Portland. I want to buy a house. I want to get married. I want all of this before I have my 31st birthday.

That gives me a little more than 4 years.

That's when I think a plan isn't such a good idea. Maybe just keep working on me and let those other things fall into place. I don't stress about them, I just think about them. I lose sight of today when thinking about the big picture. I am content with my life. I'm working for more, but not unappreciative w/what I gained thus far.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Planting and caring for your Chia Obama

1. Submerge your Chia in water for 1 hour.
2. In a separate container, mix 2 teaspoons of Chia Seeds and 1/4 cup of water. Allow to sit for 1 hour, stirring mixture occasionally to moisten the seeds. The seeds will form a gel-like paste which will help seeds adhere to your Chia Obama.
3. Fill Chia Obama with water and place in drip tray provided. Apply seed mixture to the grooved surfaces of your Chia, using your fingers, or a small knife or spoon. Take care not to clump seeds. You may not use all of the seed mixture.
4. Place your Chia in an area with good sun exposure. (Chias do not like extreme heat or extreme cold. Your windowsill may be too harsh.)
5. Keep your Chia Obama filled with water each day. Water will accumulate into the drip tray. You can carefully reuse this water, or discard it. It is important to keep the seeds moist for the first few days after planting. This can be achieved by using a loose plastic bag to cover your Chia until the seeds sprout (3-4 days), creating a mini-greenhouse. This increases warmth and humidity around the seeds. Frequent misting will also help.
6. Soon your Chia Obama will have a full head of growth. Turn your Chia toward the light source regularly to keep the growth even.
7. When the Chia growth appears leggy, it is time to remove the old growth. Depending upon the conditions in your home, your Chia will have a lifespan of approximately 4 weeks. Chia Obama should be washed and can be replanted indefinitely.

I bought mine at Fred Meyer's for $16.99.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

truly LOL (thanks Matt)

I was reading older posting's from Matt's blog and I came across this one. Truly a find!! It totally made my day :)

Mr. Iz Walks It Out

My boyfriend is lucky. He found a job that he loves and is really good at. He is an amazing teacher b/c he's smart, sincere and can connect w/his kids.
This is from a summer leadership camp...

mon amour Marconi

I spent nearly one and half years as a Marconi Mafia/Porkland/ hot girl on a hot mic in-studio guest. I was able to share the airwaves and talk the talk w/the man behind the sound, the man that for so many years gave me something reliable when everything else in my life was so unreliable. The power of radio is something I can't express. It captures me. I get addicted to radio and feel a connection to the people more then any television program.

This all started in my pre-teen years, 7th grade to be exact. I listened to Marconi on two different radio stations for nearly 10 years before I was invited into the studio to meet the man. My joy to have him back on KUFO cannot be contained. I get to listen to him each evening on my drive home from school. It's a great way to end my evenings. I cannot wait to be invited back in studio, my friend!!

workin' hard and feeling it

Last night's promotion, The Big Chill by 94.7fm and Burton's sponsored by Widmer Brewery, was pretty fun. It was my rep, Charlotte, 24th birthday and I was working solo which worked out nicely. Burton had a fashion show, we did give aways; snowboards, gear, mountain passes, etc., I gave out 3oz samples of Brrr!! by Widmer through this AWESOME ice sculpture in the shape of "BRR" built up w/a funnel for me to pour the samples through to make them ice cold!! Very cool. The crowd loved it.

I worked a full day at Tonkin yesterday, (7:30 to 4:30pm), went to biology lab (6pm to 8:30pm), left early from class to get to Grand Central Bowl by 9pm, left the event around 12:30am.

Yesterday Stacy asked if I wanted to help out the Mazda side being a receptionist today (ugh)... I agreed to work a shorter shift (6hrs). I'm working 10am to 4pm then meeting Aud and Sio for a movie at 4:30pm. I have a ton of homework, need to start on party planning for next week's celebration and oh yeah - SLEEP!!

I'm enjoying a peanut butter cookie and Monster C by Odwalla now. My hands and shoulders are sore, but I feel ok over all. I feel like I need an extra day this weekend to pull myself together. I want to curl up on the couch, watch some SVU and catch up some reading for my classes. I really value my weekends and I don't mind helping out a friend, but I'm wishing I would have passed on today. I could have used the rest.

Friday, November 13, 2009

planning a birthday party doesn't have to make me crazy

Evites went out this morning. Granted it's a week till the party and Andrew just got me the email list last night/this morning, hopefully it will be a birthday to remember. I get nervous when I know some of his Northern friends will be staying w/us. I've met a few and the rest have been depicted through crazy stories of drunkenness, vandalism, crude and adulterous tales. And not all are stories from their college years, 10 years ago. Some of these stories reflect events that have happened in the past year! As I mentally prepare for the strangers staying in my house, I also must plan out my week schedule. Since I am away from the home so much between work and school, much of the cleaning and prep will rest on Andrew's shoulders. I know he'll do everything I ask of him, he may just do it minutes before people arrive. This is why Andrew and I are such a dynamic duo.

The past year I've really taken my one-on-one therapy and group therapy seriously. No, I've gotten passionate about my therapy. I want to get "better." For years I've struggled w/eating issues and the guilt and shame that go along w/it. And that guilt and shame have made me emotionally unbalanced and I have found it very difficult to understand why I can be so easily devastated and left feeling hopeless. And I've wanted to be rid of those issues and discover the root of all my struggles.

"Hi my name is Hayley."
"Hi Hayley."
"And my qualifiers are my mother and father."

Al-Anon is amazing. I knew about them in high school, thought it wouldn't work for me b/c I don't have alcoholics for parents. But my father was raised by an alcoholic and learned to outburst like an angry drunk, even when very, very sober. And my mother found a way to drown out her childhood demons in the comfort of prescription medications. That made her super mom one minute and hysterical the next. I was raised in an environment that did not advertise taking responsibility for your actions or words. Sort of a "scream now and sorta say your sorry days later" kind of motto. My insecurities were often comforted by food, the lack of food or acts of being controlled or taking control.

Andrew is a go w/the flow kinda fella. He's incredibly smart - street and book. He's done much traveling, experienced mind-altering adventures and been able to live a life w/o acknowledging baggage. Not that he hasn't experienced first hand how crazy a family can be, he's just processed things so differently then I. We have much in common, yet our coping abilities are polar opposites.

I never imagined traveling; too much planning and "what ifs" involved.
(Cue: insecurity and control issues!)
I never dreamed of completing college, I'm not smart enough.
(Again, cue insecurities).

Andrew challenges me to be saner. He sometimes gently, sometimes not so gently pushes me to test my own abilities to let go of what I know (the crazy) and just let things flow. The world keeps on turning with or without things going my way.

I re-entered therapy February 2009. This time I needed it. I felt my mind turning on itself and my emotions spinning wildly out of control. Between cutting people off, skipping work, dramatic emails to friends and family - I needed to take responsibility for my life and stop blaming everything else and everyone else from past to present on the situation I put myself in.

It's been over 9 months and I feel so much calmer. I still have my battles, my struggles but I'm now seeing a future of serenity. I'm in school. I own up to my outbursts and reactions. I may have learned to act this way as a child, but as an adult I can be "better."

This birthday party involves hosting, planning and all the other things that a year ago would have made me cry in the bathroom and inhale a party-size bag of Almond Joys. But now, I know that this is all for Andrew and I'm just happy to be apart of it. Sounds kinda kooky, but I was.
I'm so thankful for my mental and emotional health.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Christmas vs. Tradition

CHRIST ON A CROSS!! I feel like I have a zillion balls in the air and my clumsy hands can't catch a one as they fall. Between working at Tonkin this week, I did the Drambuie Dens Monday and Tuesday nights, working Friday night at Grand Central Bowl, plan Andrew's 30th birthday party (11/20/09) and squeeze in starting/finishing homework, laundry, eating, seeing Andrew besides when he's sleeping, hug the pups and shower.

Oh yeah. Christmas present shopping.

Christmas is right around the corner and I still have mixed emotions about this holiday. I never understood this holiday. Growing up we did not celebrate holidays or birthdays. I never felt like I missed out or was robbed of anything, but now that I'm older, I enjoy the holidays for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do w/religion. I love decorating my apartment. I love the smell of a Christmas tree and hanging Andrew's ornaments and hearing the story that goes along w/each one. I love putting my dogs in stupid elf and Santa costumes. I'm sure Jesus was an awesome dude that spread the word of peace and love but the whole son of God and miracles...? What's a miracle are the obnoxious masses that believe this born-of-a-virgin baby was born in a barn in deep December and wanted us to celebrate this birth by buying spoiled tots Tickle-Me-Elmos at $50 a pop. (I'm getting off point here.)- - - - - - - - - >

I love buying my friends, selected family members and boyfriend presents, wrapping them and hoping I get them something they like, want, or need. This is something I didn't really experience for the first 21-23 years of my life. In high school I would give a close friend a birthday or Christmas present. But it was always something lame - I didn't have a real job so the gift would be something cheap and small. The energy and time that goes into shopping for someone is exhausting. I never know if what I want to buy is "enough" or if something they'd normally just buy themselves so it's not that exciting. This American tradition of stressing over gifts, the value of the gifts has now successfully sneaked into my guarded Jehovah's Witness (sorta) life and corrupted my balance. This tradition sucks.

One tradition I've started w/o putting any thought or planning into is each year I take Audrey, (my best friend), to a show for our birthdays. Mine is Dec. 10th, Aud's Dec. 15th. We usually go to a concert, this year it's to the musical production of Beauty and the Beast. This present is something I cherish! So much has happened in the 10-11 years we have been close friends, we've grown apart, grown closer, matured and have grown into young, complicated women. But for a few hours in mid-December, we can unplug and enjoy the show.

I don't know what that means. It makes me wonder, what if my folks would have put more energy into making a tradition out of bonding instead of preaching Jehovah would we have benefited more as a family unit? I know my father believed (believes) he was saving our souls, but what about the family? Today the 10 of us have no bond. We have random text messages separated by weeks, sometimes months. Short quips posted on Facebook and hollow words of endearment when a birthday rolls around. It's so strange that the seven people that make up my fondest memories have no association beyond a common last name.

When I "celebrate" Christmas, I feel it's a way for me to create a tradition b/c I've never had one. There is nothing my family does on a specific date, place or anything that brings us all back together. Well, we do have a song. One that I think became a staple in our household b/c my father's mother was especially fond of it, so as a teenager my father learned to play it on guitar and would sing it for his mother. In turn, us kids were raised w/my Dad often singing this song and encouraging us to sing in full voice during the chorus. I think today if we heard that song, all ten of us, that's eight kids and the two parents, would all have some memory and warm, happy feeling come over us.

Cotton Fields. That's my family's Christmas.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Hi Drambuie Den, remember me?

Ok, so it's been months, possibly a year since I've blogged. I honestly forgot I had this thing and don't really know what to do w/it. But today I'm finding it hard to focus on work tasks and am more interested in letting my mind wonder.

I worked the Drambuie Dens Monday 11/9/09 and last night, Tuesday 11/10/09. This is my second year being a server for this high-profile account. RedPeg Marketing switched things up this year by having each night at a different venue. Last year it was at the Doug Fir. LOVE THAT VENUE!! It was a wildly popular promotion last year, had lines wrapped around the street, people waiting way too long to get in to enjoy full size drinks, delicious food, great music and watch the Bartender Showcase. This year fell flat.
Monday night was at Qube Lounge (108 SW Pine St. Portland, OR). Great location - near Natio Parkway (near Waterfront Park), right off the MAX line and walking distance from all the other popular clubs; Dirty, Baracuda, McFadden’s, etc. I Googled "Qube Lounge" and came up only w/the address. Reason, Qube Lounge used to be an art gallery. The club looks like an art gallery; huge windows, tons of support beams/pillars throughout, largish open space, weird bathrooms, (toilets private but men and women share the sinks and hand-driers?), and everything is concrete. We had 500 RSVPs, around 300 showed up. Compared to last year where we average 1500 a night. I had some friends from school come so that made it fun but what rattled me was the attitude of some of the attendees.
I've turned down many promotions the past five months because my work/school schedule is very time consuming. So maybe I've been off the market and have forgotten how rude, how absolutely rude and snobby strangers can be to promo girls. My job detail is to make sure you have a great time at the event and promote the hell out of my product. How could you not? Free drinks, free food, you're out of the rain and in a night club? COME ON!! But when I receive comments that, "Oh, I don't even like this stuff" and "I'm not impressed with the girls" it puts a damper on my usual upbeat, sorta flirty, Promo-girl demeanor. I was quite disappointed in Portland Monday night.

I shook it off, convinced myself that Tuesday night was going to be the hot night b/c it was at The Agency (19th and Morrison, by PGE Park).
Again, we encountered more road blocks to what should have been a wildly, successful promotion. First, somehow the venue neglected to tell my promoters that the space they reserved was now cut in half b/c a filming crew was capturing some footage. This f*cking pissed off my event coordinator. Usually charming, mild manner Mr. Senior was rather sore over us getting "f*cked." We now had to use a smaller room upstairs and half of the basement space. And we had an additional server to our team this night. One thing that is crucial to promotions is having a qualified staff ON TIME. So many people are relying on you to orchestra an event, big or small; it's dire to be a team player and BE ON FREAKIN' TIME! I was panicked b/c I was 5 minutes late (thanks to a car accident on 84W). But when I walked through the doors (5 min late), I was only the 2nd of five servers to be there. Hmmm... I was not pleased. Over the next 15 minutes, the other three girls arrived.
We had to quickly update protocol/procedure to the new server, edit our layout since we were now dealing w/rooms on two different floors, introduce ourselves to our bartenders and venue staff and prepare our stations.
I have no idea how many people came last night, maybe in the 400-500, but I was hoping for the 1500 craziness of last year.
I had more friends come last night - that made things run smoother but it was such a disappointment.

I love promoting. It's sales w/o sales. My job is to talk up the product, mingle and leave people happy! What an amazing job!! I make you happy and it just didn't seem to happen.
Oh well. I have another, much smaller, event this Friday night (11/13/09) at Grand Central Bowl for Widmer Brother's Brewery. The extra cash before Christmas and Andrew's birthday is nice. I just want more out of the promotions I work. I want more from the attendees and more from the venues.