Saturday, March 31, 2012

That's what she said. And it crushed me.

I feel hurt.
I feel betrayed.
You disappointed me.
I'm taking a step back.
I told you that in confidence!!!

What exactly?
You have a secret side, that you've kept a secret... but have you really? You blame me for shit talking when everything you say to me, you say in a group setting. Conversations of your health, of your happiness, of your energy - yes we've had them. "We" being the ones you so frankly talk (and SHOW) your secret side to.

Single me out. It's ok.

I'm your friend. I get you. I understand why you're doing this.
Even if it crushes me... I get it.

You choose to believe the hype and the people that you so quickly and often tell me their serious problems and personal demons, over me.

You pick them... over me.

I'm exhausted. That's how you know I'm a friend. I've put in my heart, dedicated myself to truthful and frank conversations; the hardship of relying on one another over the gossip because I give you the benefit of the doubt! Who have you called when things are awesome, shitty and absolutely dreadful? Me.

And you are who I always call.

But believe them. These people that come to you, they have accused me of things just to have them admit later they exaggerated or lied and used my name to cohort information out of you.

I'm so twisted right now. Beyond the ability to really feel what's happening. I'm being such a hypocrite because I'm using the same forum to tell you this, just as you inform me of our demise via blog.

But... I get it. I will not fight this.

We need space.

No comments: