Monday, January 18, 2010

why call when you can text?

Andrew left for Tahoe Saturday morning while I was in class. His brother drove him to the airport. He's not gone for long, just 4 nights. I was looking forward to having some me time and being able to do those girl things you no longer can do freely when you have a boy sharing your space. (Sorry to disappoint, it's nothing sexy, it's mostly just wearing your pajamas until noon, doing a crossword without his super brain knowing all the answers and wearing a mud mask while eating a late dinner in front of the tv).

He texted me while he was waiting at the gate, texted me a few hours later that he ran into his middle school science teacher then he wrote "Awwww" as a response to a picture I sent him of Serena before going to bed.

Now, I'm not a lady that needs her man to call her constantly while he's out of town but really, not one phone call? Sunday morning I get a "morning..." text message, followed by a few updates about the festivities of last night. I go about my day, conscious of my phone's location in case he calls. I call him at 5:45pm and get sent to voicemail. He then calls me back while in a game of poker - conversation last a few seconds because he's "gotta go" but promises to call me when the hand is over.

An hour and 15 minutes later he texts that "poker is wrapping up soonish..." Another 45 minutes pass and then he calls. He's distracted and only wants to talk about the dogs.

I can't stress the awkwardness of this phone call. It's almost an inconvenience for him to call me when he's with his friends. I sense that it's much easier for him to be "Iz" with his friends and "Andrew" with me. It's natural to default back to the person you were when hanging out with people from your past. I know I'm much more exuberant and the center of attention when with my family and high school friends. The thing that sorta bums me out is how he doesn't want to mesh the past and present; he wants to keep them separate. I'm not entirely sure why, but it's convenient for him to communicate via text message while with his college friends. It doesn't hurt, it just makes things clearer and foggier at the same time. Perhaps he does the same to them when he's back at home.

I admit it's much easier to text someone then to call. I write more emails, comment of Facebook status' and text message my closest friends then call them. I probably text or email Audrey every day, but really only talk to her on the weekends.

With this advancement of technology, the "ding" of a new message, has replaced the ring of the phone. And with the instant short hand lingo we lose the comfort of hearing a loved ones voice and learning the craft of conversing. I remember the importance of talking. Talking on the phone was such a necessity when I was a teenager that my sister Jess and I shared a room and together, her having a real job and my baby-sitting money, pooled our funds together and got our parents to install a second line in our bedroom!! The hours we spent on pranking, collecting random payphone numbers at MAX stations just to talk to random people on top of the hours spent talking to our friends was incredible!!

Should I feel any less important because instead of the phone call, I get that text? Not sure. It makes me wonder why I have cellphone minutes at all. How can I contribute to getting talking back on instead of texting? I'm known for taking things to heart when they really shouldn't... but I miss him calling me. The texting puts me on the same level of all the random, less important people that don't require a phone call. I think I deserve a phone call while he's 600 miles away.

And it may seem trivial but there's no "I love you" while he's with his college friends. Sorta stings that after two and half years he still doesn't say that in front of his friends. Again, maybe I should just say it instead of waiting to hear it, but I don't want to make things weird for him.

"Things seem clearer and foggier at the same time" comes into play here.


Jessica Eiden Smedley said...


Hayley Freakin' Rules said...

Oh wow, I totally forgot I could play that card. DAMN YOU CANADA!!!!