I sincerely try to not allow gossip get in the mix of how I feel about someone but I'm human and am not flawless. I heard some news last night about someone I keep in a special place in my heart - my first love. I heard a horrible rumor about him. Well, a mutual friend told me a story that made him not the spectacular, thoughtful, honest young man I remember him to be.
On my drive home that "Listen to your heart..." song (Roxette) starts running through my mind... Something inside me wanted to call him and ask him if it's true. But the reality is he was my high school sweetheart, he's engaged, he's this grown man with his own life that on occasion crosses my path and if he's doing or did what was confided to me, what good would my inquiring do? Who am I to even go there and start questioning what he's doing in his life?
Answer: no one.
We are friendly, but not friends. It was just so harsh to hear that this person I have so many found memories with - I get lost in remembering the sweetness and youthfulness of our teenage love - is actually this real guy, maybe even a scumbag; not some Prince Charming.
Oh well... the old high school gang is meeting up next month for a Pub Crawl. Maybe it'll come up. Maybe it won't. No matter what, I still love thinking back on those sweet times in my life - when love was so pure and love was invincible and we were so stupid to believe that our bond could get us through anything. And now to have that tainted - sorta sucked. Sorta broke my heart all over again... in a different way.